dumb-science-jokes:

jeez these new generations of E. Coli have been growing up so strangely! 

…i blame the media

ashthighs:

Today in school my friend thought she packed cola for her lunch, but instead she pulled out a bottle of water and was like “ARE YOU SHITTING ME? WATER?!”
And I was just like
“H2O? …More like… H2NO
She hit me.